Embrace the gift of time

2009-03-09T01:30:00.000-07:00

Clock is ticking... Life is ticking... Just when do we start to cherish time? 10 hours at a Starbux later, I made a list.

My friend Ben in NY who is apparently turning 30 says that the lights all of a sudden swiches on, he's gotta stop messing around and accomplish something. I was thinking it is typical of men who turn 3o. "Make a list", he told me. "One with all your dreams, if you knew you cannot fail, and then for a second list, pretend that you're in your 40s looking back, and write down all the advise you would give yourself right now." He later text me:"Don't forget to take some crack beforehand because it may make you depressed." Oh Ben... You have no idea! But I really listened when he said, "Bev, notice how successful people prioritize their goals, and then make sure that every day, they are doing something to achieve them. When I made my list, labeled them based on importance, and then that's when it hit me, I'm spending way too much of my time every day NOT doing what I should be doing." It makes me wonder what portions of my day do I currently dedicate to achieving my goals?

So I started on my lists at Starbux, a new discovery on the corner of 26th and Wilshire, last weekend. I really adore the corner seat on the leather benches. It's a perfect seat, with perfect plugs for my laptop, perfect view of the rest of the coffee shop and the interesting people coming in and out, perfect unsecure wireless connection because it's free... Above all, I can actually concentrate! Under the dim lights on a round table, in front of my laptop, I thought long thoughts and jogged down things that were profound, meaningful and thought hard about what I wanted in the next 10 years. More than what I wanted: What I have to offer to the world and What I'm meant to do? What would make me happy? Before I knew it, I was so so depressed knowing how little I have done with so much time lost in space in my 20s!

Today, I went back to the same corner and did some more thinking about all the career/life style options available to me... Choices like, do I go get a MBA now? Do I quit my job and try to get another one in this horrible economic crisis? When do I start doing something I will enjoy such as in the creative/art industry, etc. I also phoned three friends, one was my age, one was 8 years older and one was over 50, while msn chatting a person who is already in the creative business. Due to their age differences, each person had a different tone and way of communicating to me, but all offered great inputs and emphasized different ideas. Finally at 9:45p.m., I was able to come up with something realistic and well, that is probably going to keep my early 30s pretty busy.

It feels like I can write a novel right now but it's 2 a.m. and I need to go to sleep (going to sleep early is on my list of things to do). Also, blogging. I decided to practice writing by blogging... Hopefully I can convince Barbara to read this and give me feedback every so often. She's becoming quite technologically savy after being introduced to facebook, although she still wonders if she prefers phone calls and emails because they are obviously more private. Anyway, she's a great English editor. I hope I can keep up with the list I made by writing down my weekly tasks and short reflections on life experiences here.

Quickly, just a short reflection before my eye lids close:

I was driving on Robertson to meet up with my friend on Saturday at Goodfellas restaurant on Melrose. Turning onto Robertson from Wilshire and cruising past all the lined up modern interior urban design and trendy fashion stores lit by neon city lights, I felt easily distracted with so many things to look at and somehow very alive. It has always been my favorite part of the street but of course living in LA and amongst all its traffic, I never make it to North Hollywood often enough. Later that evening, while I was driving through that same part of town on Robertson, I suddenly realised something and then went off on a tangent worth mentioning here. I noticed hat although there were less cars on the streets, everyone drove very badly in that neighborhood! I thought maybe the drivers had been intoxicated since it was late on a Saturday night after all. But after dodging a few cars turning into my lane without signals, and one car that literally cut across 3 lanes, I thought hrmmm.... Maybe it's because they were all driving like me or rather I drove like them. Maybe they were all creative people and creative people are all too easily distracted or are okay with multitasking while driving, which makes it hard for them to stay in one lane some times, especially when they have more room for various expression, whether it's on a blank canvas or on an empty road at night. And so if that's the case, then thank god that that world has many types of people. Thank god that not everyone is the creative kind, and not everyone is like me. Or else, just imagine the potential chaos on the road everyday. I guess I think it's a cool tangent because it makes me appreciate the differences amongst people and if I can sort of see the reason behind why everyone is made differently, then it makes me accept the fact that I don't need to be able to relate to, understand or get along with everyone I encounter in my life to appreciate their value and existence.

XU BU -

Embrace the gift of time